Provoked

I arose from the couch and walked toward her. As she said, whatever I was misunderstanding I would need to discover for myself. I knew her advice was gold. She was always right, even if it took me a while to understand what she was saying...

To my surprise she stopped at the door, turned around, and stood directly in front of me. For a moment I admired a captivating still life. Her hypnotic pose dragged my eyes from her heals and over her full breasts stopping at her serious, penetrating eyes. They pierced her glasses and shined with concentrated curiosity. It was reasoned and academic, with a glint of chaos and insanity.

She reached behind her and turned the deadbolt.

I swallowed.

She reached up and her hair fell down to her shoulders. She tilted her head back, shaking her hair from her sides, then removed her glasses and placed them on a shelf next to the door.

"Magnus, I want you to know that our sessions are completely confidential. Do you understand?"
"I do."

She reached down and pulled her sweater over her head, then unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor.

Her breasts were pert and small, but full and proportional.

I was stunned and speechless. I told myself this was nothing to fear. I told myself I was in control. She approached me with her head steady, then reached for my hand and placed it on her breast.

"I want you to trust me, okay Magnus?"

She grasped my shirt and pulled until our bodies melded together. Her lips approached mine and her front teeth bit lightly on my lower lip, then tugged gently until it snapped back. Her hand moved up against my crotch.

To my surprise, everything about this seemed natural...truthful. I couldn't put my finger on it. I felt completely comfortable with her. I was aroused, but did not feel the same rush of temptation I had before with Jen, and certainly less than Vanessa. This was a person who knew me...not as an animal, but as a human. I somehow knew she was incapable of harming me. I was not afraid, and I did not feel the need to resist her or my own lust. I knew I was in control. I hoped it would last...

She pushed away and turned from me, bending down until her skirt was around her feet, then stepped out of them. I admired her smooth legs and lovely bush as her pink fingernails appeared then disappeared from between her legs. Her black heals and thigh-high stockings were shockingly seductive. She stood tall and looked at me over her shoulder. This was a side of her I could not have imagined. I found her stunningly beautiful.

"Magnus. I want you to look at me closely. I am revealing to you a genuine woman, a part of me you haven't seen. She may not be who you expect..."

She walked away and placed her hands on the door as if she were under arrest. She arched her back and reached between her legs with her right hand, motioning me towards her with her index finger. The way her body moved was intentional but free, as if the burden of her drab acceptable self washed away. Her vulnerability was tempered with a calm confidence, as if she welcomed complete rejection, or even asked for it. I could not accommodate.

I approached her and observed her naked, wanting body from behind. Her ass was almost still, moving slightly in a circular motion. I imagined placing my hand on her hip and granting her wish. I knew the first moment would be as intense as the last. I knew the feeling of softly breaking into a woman. That weakened me. The sensation was filling my body already. I began to detect the madness approaching.

"Linda, I do trust you, but I cannot do this..."
"Fuck me, Magnus. Please oh please. Just for a moment?"

I was so close to her. Only a couple feet. Everything about her screamed at me...the lacy tops of her stockings, the contour of her back.

"Pretty please! She bounced up and down playfully, like an anxious child. She was so free at this moment. I was not."

My heart pounded.

She turned around and placed her back flat against the wall, running her fingers from her waist to her breasts until they clasped over her head. She looked at me innocently and honestly, as if she was carrying on a natural part of everyday life. She was entirely at ease with herself and the situation. I tried desperately to put myself at ease.

She lowered to her hands and knees and crawled, smiling expectantly. From her knees she looked up at me.

"Well, Mr. Magnus. Will you at least allow me the pleasure?"

She placed her thumb and forefinger on the tab to my zipper, lowering it a notch or two.

"Only with your express permission, of course..."

She tempted inconsequential, unconditional fun. I was desperately tempted to make light of the situation. Everything inside me was screaming "it's not a big deal, let her fellate you!"

But I wanted it too much. I knew once I felt her lips she would become my physical master. The floodgates would be opened. Still, I could trust her. As a nod barely materialized I ceased trying to put my mind and body at ease. The anger returned. Fire enveloped by body and she became my supreme nemesis.

I think she noticed, her smile turning evil.

She slowly stood, looking into my eyes. As she did I noticed my pants fall down to my knees. I was wearing baggy carpenter jeans and she had somehow managed to unbutton them. I did not flinch. Next she ripped down my underwear.

I closed my eyes. My fists were clenched and flexed my upper body unintentionally. I would not sheepishly flail for my clothes and run like a schoolboy.

I was in control. Although my silly spider shirt grazed the top of my erection, and I was nonetheless a man for it. I stepped out of my pants.

I was the most calm fire breathing dragon that ever existed.

Linda walked to the couch and lay, stretching her hands back over her head. One of her legs reached down to the floor. Her other foot massaged the armrest

"Do you hate me now Magnus?"

I did, but I shook my head no.

"Do you realize I am now a free woman? Do you know this is what I was born to do? You can't blame me, Magnus, for who I am? Know that I only ask you to follow suit. Show me who you are Magnus..."

I had too much at stake. Years of celibacy would be terminated at this moment. I wouldn't do it, but something wouldn't let me leave either. Curiosity? Lust? Fascination? Anger? I stood motionless.

I watched her glide her fingers over her pale skin. They ran over her neck, chest, and over her legs. She seemed to escape into another realm of consciousness. A part of me joined her. I felt as though I was observing a great work of art, simply existing for its own sake. It was not a human, but a breathing masterpiece.

Her eyes closed and her hand drifted naturally between her legs. She seemed to escape into deep concentration.

I stood watching her fragile body fall into pleasure.

She was a flower, completely unashamed and innocent...a beautiful piece of reality, simple and unafraid.

I stood there in my stupid shirt.

Her head rolled back and her body fell deeper into passion.

I was frozen in hypnosis, somehow relieved she was no longer pursuing me. I began to relax.

Her other hand moved to her breast, holding it tightly.

"Oh, yes, Magnus. Don't move. Stay right there..."

Her chin approached her chest and her disheveled hair half covered her face. She opened her eyes and looked at me. The look was familiar...the stalking predator, the eyes of Vanessa and Jen. They possessed me, and I wanted to get inside. I needed to know what she was thinking....

She had awakened a new level of desire that coursed through her body.

"Oh Magnus, you poor little boy. Oh, please don't move..."

"Excuse me?"

"You silly child. Would you like a lollipop?"

The terror returned at once. What had become a true work of art was now attacking me. She appealed to whatever vulnerabilities she could find...ones she had so easily cast away. I realized she intended to violate me as I stood watching her, unable to remove my eyes from her naked body. By now she was writhing in ecstasy. I was locked in a cage. Still, nothing could tear my eyes from her...

I would not acknowledge her words as truth, but understood their meaning. She was speaking to the insecurity that afflicts us males so deeply, our "manhood." She aimed to prove her freedom was my cage, and to exit, I must join her and gratify my most natural male inclinations. I was repulsed by her. She continued...

"Oh yes, you pathetic fairy. Oh god yes. Stand there and watch me you sorry excuse for a man. Fuck me with yo wittle weyes! Mmmmmm..."

I looked into her eyes, which locked into mine. They were furious. She was tense and took shallow breaths. Her leg lifted her then buckled. She sighed loudly and rhythmically without restraint.

The rage was different this time...

It came from a deeper place than before.

My chest pounded anger throughout my body.

She was bringing out the worst in me. A forbidden power. I wondered how any man could be expected to resist fucking her. Not for pleasure, but for pure domination. It felt so unnatural, wrong. There was one thing I knew. She had the power to stop, and she didn't. Although I recognized I hadn't asked her to...

Even so, she needed to know what horror she was enforcing upon me. I was ashamed that I wanted to spank her, to strike her awful, indulgent flesh. She needed to know I was not the little boy she claimed. She needed to know that the truth was the contrary...only a real man could resist fucking the daylights out of her right then. She begged me to lose it. At first she begged me to be the immature, afraid, sex-starved teenager. Then she begged me to become the enraged, impulsive beast. I begged to prove to her that I was not given to either of these things.

I approached her...

"Oh yes, come closer so you can see, my timid little voyeur. I want to be able to see your wide fucking eyes when I come. What are you going to do little boy?"

Her hair was draped off the side of the couch and I kneeled down beside her. I ran my hand over her forehead and felt her finger tips brush against my scrotum. I watched her as I slowly ran my pinky finger down her forehead and over her nose. It moved between her lips and then rested on her tongue, whose edges wrapped to carry it. She gently coaxed it into her mouth. Her eyes closed as my finger slowly pushed. She moaned quietly and sucked gently as I removed it. Her hand continuing to delicately massage my testicles.

I Approached her and gently placed my lips on her neck. She drew her head back and pushed her hand between her squeezing legs. I kissed her softly, ascending her delicate skin. Reaching her ear, I brought my tongue into it with the most deliberate softness. She arched her back, moved her hand from my scrotum and grasped my erection, stroking it loosely. As softly as I could I whispered...

"I'm going to leave now Linda. Please let go."

She opened her hand and I slowly stood. She had a calm yet surprised look on her face. The corners of her lips rose as if to say I must be kidding. I pulled up my underwear and placed a leg into my jeans. Her expression grew serious.

"Oh, Magnus, you don't need to play hard-to-get with me. I've been waiting for this for some time, you know. You knew I wanted you when you were in high school, didn't you?"
"No, I'm afraid I didn't."
"I wanted to lie naked like this every time you walked in that door. You're innocent smile, your unassuming naive trust. You were a little, confused boy. I imagined putting these lips around your 17 year old cock. The thought of it made me wild with desire, Magnus. The thought of your shocked expression as I took your shaft deep inside my wanting mouth. Oh, you needed it so damn much, just like you need it now. Do you want to know what I wanted to do next?"

I turned and approached the door.

"Oh please, Magnus, stay."

I placed my hand on the knob.

"Okay, stop, I have a confession to make."
"What's that?"
"I'm afraid I lied to you earlier. There are some things you must know."
"Yes?"
"The truth is, I have been following your relationship with Vanessa for months, Magnus."

I looked at her, now propped up on her elbow. One of her knees was raised and I couldn't help but notice her lovely, flush pussy, which she continued to casually play with.

"Yes. Vanessa and I have been friends for years. Oh, I told her all about you, nothing confidential, just what a wonderful person you are. She knows what a crush I had on you. I confided with her all the stories of the depraved things I was going to do to you...my silly fantasies. We were very close, still are. When she found out she was going to be living on the same campus as you, she was very excited. Magnus, I was the one who finally told her to visit your blog. Next thing I know, she had fallen in love with you. I have watched the correspondence ever since, Magnus, and I find it so desperately heartbreaking."

Linda was the one who first suggested I write down my thoughts. I may never have even started my blog if it hadn't been for her. She continued...

"I have another confession, Magnus, or should I say...M."

I thought about it for a second...

"You?"

"I couldn't help myself, Magnus. My impossible infatuation grew so powerful, I needed some sort of outlet. I needed to express to the world somehow, in some way, that I had these feelings for you. "Immortal Beloved" was never intended to become so popular. I never imagined it would take on such a life of its own..."

I had read the Immortal Beloved blog, and it was filled with lovely, enticing stories. They seemed somehow less-true than Vanessa's.

"Magnus, I know you fancy Vanessa. I know I could never fully acquire your love. You see me as a mentor, a confidant, and teacher. I recognize those entries were my fantasies, not yours, and I accept that. But, that doesn't mean that I can't still be a part of yours..."
"What do you mean?"
"I called Vanessa as soon as you scheduled your appointment. She loves you, Magnus. We talked at length about your dilemma. She wants nothing but your happiness, and so do I. Now, we all know you certainly cannot give your body to someone as dangerously powerful as Vanessa. You believe that you must not grant her the final thing preventing you from being her prisoner. Magnus, you are in error, but this is what you believe. You will one day discover that she is your eternal prisoner, no matter what you do. Nonetheless, you know and trust me, Magnus. You know I would never harm you. Furthermore, you do not love me enough to fear me. For this reason, I asked for her approval in becoming her body for this session. I asked if I could have the honor of receiving the physical affections you cannot share with her. Magnus, I am Vanessa's body, and I lie desperate for your touch."

I thought about Vanessa's post. I looked at Linda in quiet curiosity and pondered. It might be true, I thought. This was Vanessa's twisted fantasy...knowing I would give in to temptation as a gesture for her, and her alone...that I would indulge in physical satisfaction, but only because it was the embodiment of her ultimate fantasy. I knew that nothing that truly pleased me could ever displease her. I desperately wanted to know if it was true...if Vanessa could be so selfless. If so, I realized I would do anything for her.

I looked down at Linda's body. Indeed, it was Vanessa begging for me.

It frightened me. How could I accept such love? Linda continued...

"It is true, Magnus. She knows what power her own body would wield over you. She knows it pushes you away from her. But, her passion to satisfy you has no limits. She yearns to use my body for you now, and it begs you in her honor. You must know that right now I am nothing but a tool for you...a tool to demonstrate your love for Vanessa without consequence. She knows I am someone you can trust entirely, someone who has already guarded your deepest secrets. She knows my body is as desperate for you as hers. I want you to use it Magnus. Use it in any way you want. Trust me. Please..."

I could not bear it. I was now depriving Vanessa by resisting Linda. I was starving Vanessa of her greatest wish. The thought consumed me...

By walking away I was leaving Vanessa begging, pleading...it brought me towards the door. I imagined Vanessa pushing me towards Linda and my strength overwhelming her.

I turned the deadbolt and took one last look at Linda.

"Jesus Christ, Magnus. Oh please come back. You realize you are walking away from Vanessa. She loves you. You are leaving Vanessa crying for you! She is sobbing, tears streaming down her face, desperate for your slightest pleasure. By leaving you are slowly killing her. You can't do this Magnus."

"Yes I can."

I walked out the door.