The Visit

I had removed all shame and doubt as I walked across campus. My head was clean and my conscience, assured. I thought about the first time I saw her. I remembered the moment our eyes first met. The spell she had cast in only a moment. That moment had not escaped, but loomed over me ever since. There was no hesitation as I approached her door. She does it better justice than I ever could...

I knew it was your knock, my sweet...the one I had waited for all this time. I removed my night gown even before I saw your silly distorted face through the peep hole. (I hope you didn't hear me giggle.) I knew you were not here to persuade me...you knew you already had. I lit the candles...for my own benefit, of course, not yours. Oh, how desperate I was to see your eyes grow large with desire, my love. I would soon feel you. I would not let you take me out of duty, but pleasure, preferably domination. The fear was unexpected. It crept up my spine. I couldn't know what tiger loomed beyond the door? I was quite wet. Prepared. Yes, I was prepared. You would be surprised to see my naked, waiting body. You would be amazed with my composure and strength. As you approached my skin would became warm silk, flowing from my legs to my shoulders in a sadistic lust that only you could appreciate. My hands roved by themselves, ushering my body into sensual hypnosis as your ghost stood across the wooden barrier. I looked at the door knob and reached for it. My heart was pleading "open, Vanessa, you must open for him." I would be your angel, your feast. I pretended I was pure evil, complete and ready. Oh, was I? I began to breath harder as I wondered what you would do to me. I imagined you might lift me immediately and allow my legs to wrap around your waste. Then I could sink onto your hard cock. I held my breast and closed my eyes. It would be your choice. You knocked again. Oh, I needed to know. But no, Magnus, I could not open the door. I wouldn't let myself. I'm so, so sorry. I was screaming inside..."open for him, Vanessa." You had not written about this, nothing even close...nothing so mundane as me alone with you in my dorm room. I hadn't imagined it happening like this. The unbearable thoughts ripped through me like a razer blade...that you were only here to scold me, to tell me to leave you alone. I realized I was not ready for that. I would die instantly. Forgive me, Magnus. All I wanted was you inside, yet, I stood, almost motionless. Petrified. Would this chance arrive again? Was I leaving you? Oh, no, I could not. I decided I would open and face you?! I did it. I opened the door. Poof, you were gone. Oh please forgive me, Magnus.

This, as a matter of fact, did happen.

Well, to put it another way...I knocked on her door, waited, knocked again, and left.

I walked back to my room, sat at my computer, and gently discarded the last of my tension while reading her note.